I have been thinking a lot about body shaming and bullying and it is a proven fact that a lot of the time we project our own insecurities onto others – so in the case of body shaming, a personal, internal struggle with one’s own body will be directed at someone else, but that someone else is not the one with the problem.
It used to upset me when I was in the presence of someone who was considerably smaller than me and they would talk about how fat they are because my first thought was always “if she thinks she’s fat, what does she think of me?” but I have learnt that they are talking about themselves, it is their internal struggle, it has got nothing to do with me, and if they do think about me and my weight then, again, that’s their problem, and not mine.
It should never be a case of looking at someone who has a bigger body and thinking they should lose weight because if you, the one with the smaller body, aren’t happy with yourself, how can they be happy with themselves?
Of course, our journey with our bodies is not easy, we all know that, but what we should also know is that behind that body there is a history, a present and a future. We don’t know what either of those look like and even if someone shares a part of it with you, you will never see the whole picture. We cannot possibly begin to understand what each and every individual has gone through with their bodies – the changes during puberty, the changes after babies, the changes that happen because we are human. We should be encouraging each other to get to the best possible place with our bodies and that will look different for everyone and that is okay, and that is what we need to accept.
We should not take the privilege and freedom of body acceptance away from someone because they look different to us or because we can’t accept ourselves. We shouldn’t assume that because they are fat that their only goal in life is to lose weight or that because they are thin that it’s to put on weight. There are some people who are genuinely happy with their current and don’t want to make changes, there are people who are in the process of making changes and there are people who have already changed.
Remember, it’s your body, your business.