The husband and I celebrate our three year anniversary today and I am currently floating in a bubble filled with love, gratitude and memories. Walking down the aisle with both of my parents at my side, entering the hall after the ceremony and being announced as Mr and Mrs Sharper, our awkward first dance and the very emotional dance with my dad.
It was beautiful, more special than I ever could have imagined and nothing, absolutely nothing mattered on the day, not even that we forgot to put salt and pepper on the tables.
I wish I had known that leading up to the wedding because planning a wedding is hella stressful and it doesn’t help when the thing you were most stressed about really shouldn’t have been a reason to stress at all.
Even though we had the tightest budget, my venue had to be changed, people let me down and I was absolutely terrible at planning, the thing that stressed me out the most during the preparation was my weight.
At the beginning of the year I set out to do a challenge to lose 15 kilos before my big day because a) I didn’t think I would find a dress I loved in my size and b) I needed to lose weight for my wedding day because that is just what you do.
If ever there was pressure and doubt about your body, it is when you are about to get married. How will I look in my pictures? What will those who haven’t seen me for a while think of me when they see me? Am I going to find a dress that fits?
Well I found a dress that actually fitted me perfectly, like it was made for me which is what every girl hopes for. I loved the dress, I loved the way it fitted me, as my body was, but I was still convinced I needed to lose weight.
So I tried to lose and failed. I lost a bit, gained a bit and then I gave up on trying to look perfect and rather enjoy the time leading up to marrying the perfect partner.
When I walked down the aisle the earth didn’t shatter, people didn’t gasp at my weight, but rather at how beautiful I looked, because I felt beautiful!
The whole wedding process is supposed to be a happy and enjoyable time but we put so much pressure on ourselves to not only have the perfect day but to also be perfect on the day. But what makes the day perfect is not the size of your dress or the number on a scale. It is about being surrounded by all of your favourite people, about marrying someone who loves you just as you are.
Weddings are magical – there is love in the air, there is so much to celebrate, it is just such a special time. I hate that it can be tainted by an irrational idea we create in our minds of what it should look like when in reality it’s not about what it all looks like, it is about what it feels like.
Being a plus size bride didn’t matter on my wedding day and it shouldn’t matter to you now, five months before, the actual day or ten years from now.